


Lover, You Should've Come Over

by Authorexx



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s19e19 Sunk Cost Fallacy, F/F, Hopeful Ending, I couldn't sleep I had to finish this, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29214876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Authorexx/pseuds/Authorexx
Summary: Episode tag for s19 e19 Sunk Cost Fallacy.Olivia refuses to lose Alex again.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	Lover, You Should've Come Over

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this immediately after watching the episode; I apologize for any inconsistencies! Also, thanks to Jeff Buckley for inspiring the title. -Ax

On nights like these, all Olivia wanted was to be in Alex’s arms. It had been years—no calls; no texts; no contact whatsoever, only raw feelings and a specific sort of loneliness that permeated her nights. Tonight was different, though; it twisted the knife in a far different manner. After this week, she had seen Alex; spoken with Alex; spent time with Alex. Her mind was _full_ of Alex, but it had become apparent that they both stood on either side of an insurmountable rift. The surge of joy Olivia had felt when she spotted Alex earlier that week had been swiftly dashed on the rocks of anxiety; Special Victims’ case became far more complicated than any they had seen before, and this time, Alex was on the opposite side of the courtroom and the law. They’d left one another with little more than a hug and well wishes, and a sense of dread had begun to tighten its grip around Olivia. If Alex was still hiding out in that safehouse, she’d likely have to relocate within the month, and Olivia would lose her yet again. She bit her tongue, taking little time to ponder her options before putting on her coat and heading downstairs.

Alex sat up in bed, her head swimming in a raging sea of thoughts. There were two women living with their children downstairs; she would be finding proper placements for them soon. She tried to focus on her new plans: this safehouse was compromised; she’d have to move from this location and find another foxhole to stash her survivors. Of all people to have ruined her operation, it would have been Olivia Benson, the face that had haunted her dreams for years. Olivia had done her no favors with this case; she’d torn apart her carefully crafted system in a matter of days. Classic Olivia—an investigation that found itself tied up in knots with emotions and gray morality. Earlier tonight, it took everything within Alex to not run back down the street and embrace Olivia with five years’ worth of built-up passions, but she restrained herself, knowing it would only end in disaster for her new world. In this universe of her own design, Alex was the strong one; the safe haven; the port in an endless storm to the victims who sought her out… but tonight, she felt two inches tall, crying in her bed over a relationship she’d ended years ago. Alex collected her thoughts with a sigh, swallowing hard as she tried and failed to shake the thoughts of Olivia from her head.

Alex attempted to rationalize it to herself—Olivia simply loved a version of her that she had left behind in the Manhattan D.A.’s office years ago. They were both worlds away from the women they were when they had first met—Alex was a young prosecutor with sky-high political ambitions and little concern for the people she represented; Olivia was a junior detective in a fledgling Sex Crimes division. They’d cut their teeth together on cases like the ones Alex now subverted every day by creating unsolved murders, unsolved kidnappings—cases that would never truly close. Sleep would not come tonight, and she made her way downstairs, hoping in vain that a cold glass of water would clear her head.

Olivia sat outside in her car, staring at the dark house, wishing for any indication of Alex’s presence inside. A light came on, and Olivia made her move, getting out of the car on shaky feet and making her way up the walk, the swirling sound of her heartbeat in her ears. A strained breath left her lips as she knocked, silently praying that she would be answered.

Alex turned toward the sound, feeling a chill run up her spine. An angry husband or boyfriend had found them—her greatest fear was being realized. Alex parted the blinds and peered out the kitchen window, her eyes darting from the unknown, solitary figure on her doorstep to the car parked outside—a black ’65 Mustang. Alex breathed a sigh of relief, heading to the door. “Get in here,” she hissed, shutting it behind the woman now in her house. “What are you doing here?”

“A hello would be nice,” Olivia said, cocking her head to one side.

“You can’t be here, _Lieutenant,”_ Alex said, crossing her arms and concentrating on maintaining a stony expression. “Or have you come to claim another Pyrrhic victory?”

“You really think I’d let you get away again so easy?” Olivia chuckled, tears in her eyes. “It’s been five years, Alex, give the ice queen act a rest.”

Alex felt her eyes begin to sting, setting her jaw and breathing deeply, ignoring the prickling sensation in her nose that signaled imminent tears. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, her voice becoming shaky as her throat tightened. Her eyes betrayed her as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Olivia wrapped Alex in her arms for the second time this night as her own eyes spilled over, the sounds of her sniffles seeming to echo through the silent house. Time came to a standstill as they stood in the foyer, their shoulders both shaking with quiet sobs as Alex’s arms slowly found their way around Olivia, holding her close with all of her strength. “I don’t want you to leave me again,” Olivia whispered, barely managing the words. “Please, Alex.”

Alex was unable to speak, frozen in place, reeling at the sensation of holding Olivia and Olivia holding her in turn. A floodgate holding back five years’ worth of tears opened, and she felt her knees give way as she sobbed. “I—I can’t,” she choked out, burying her face in Olivia’s shoulder.

Olivia brought her hand to Alex’s face, wiping away stray tears with her thumb, and Alex leaned into the touch, pressing a kiss to her palm. “Then… give me tonight, that’s all,” Olivia murmured, gently running her thumb over Alex’s blotchy, tear-streaked cheek.

Alex’s eyes were still glistening with tears as they locked with Olivia’s. “Tonight,” Alex whispered, nodding as she let out a shaky, labored breath. “That’s all.”


End file.
